About Sue
I grew up in a warm, safe home with good parents that wanted and loved me and my younger brother. At our Methodist church I regularly heard “about God” and at 12 during confirmation class, I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I believed and knew He had come into my heart, but no one really showed me how to have a personal relationship with Father. At church and in our home I experienced a God who was holy, but distant. I believed in Jesus, but He didn’t seem close or interested in me.
My religious perspective led me to believe lies and find my identity in “what I did” and how I “performed.” I became a “performance-oriented, first-born perfectionist.” Because of my mother serving my dad a lot, I believed that I needed to serve or do something to earn love. That led to my getting my identity from what I did! I tried really hard to do my best and found it difficult to ever take time relaxing. I felt good if I did well, but I felt bad if I didn’t meet the standards or get someone else’s approval or love.
After marrying Rick, I worked hard at being a good wife, mother and homemaker. Yet, I exhausted myself “doing” more than what was healthy. I was a bundle of knots on the inside worrying if I’d done enough. This carried over into my relationship with the Lord. Although I was filled with the Spirit and walking by faith and the Word, every time I read the Word I saw all that I wasn’t doing. This led to lots of negative feelings about myself. Every morning I woke up with a dark cloud over me and my emotions caused me to feel guilt, self-hatred, and shame.
Ten years ago, I asked a friend to mentor me. She gave me a set of Jack Frost’s messages, “Hindrances to Receiving the Father’s Love” that touched my heart deeply. As I ironed and listened to the tapes, Father began to do a deep work in my heart. For the first time I saw I didn’t have to try and earn His love. Through the ministries of Shiloh Place, Fatherheart, Heart Sync and others, my Heavenly Father has removed my “performance-based identity” and brought me to a place of living loved! Now I can just “be” His daughter, rest in His love, receive His love, and give that love away to others!
The more intimately I get to know Abba Father, the more secure and peaceful my life is. My days have become so much lighter and carefree as I let Him lead and father me! No longer am I trying to change myself. Instead He is transforming me as I depend on my good Father to guide and care for me. Recently I have also gained a deeper understanding of how to have healthy relationships with God and others. What a delightful change in my daily life as I am learning to quiet myself, express more appreciation and intentionally create belonging and joy around me. This has impacted my relationship with my Heavenly Father, my marriage, and relationships around me. I am excited to see how Father will continue to change my life in the days and years to come!
